Not gift-wrapped

"It was the worst Christmas eve I ever had," stated Robert Schoff.

Schoff, 77, of Des Moines Iowa had what would seem to be the holiday evening that definately stunk. He began by working on a small house project that included digging a small hole near his septic tank. When he got it deep enough, all he had to do was reach in and dislodge a clog that was there.


That was when the 5 foot- 5 inch, 135 pound Schoff lost his balence and became wedged in the opening of the septic tank. Now that may seem to be enough of a rough spot in a "home fix-it" project but Schoff went a bit further, he couldn't free himself from the opening.


He screamed and yelled he stated, hoping that his wife Toni would hear him and be able to help him out of his bind. She did finally notice his kicking feet an hour later and ran out to try and pull him out. When she was unable to do that, she called 911 to have her husband rescued.


Two Polk County deputies arrived and yanked him out of the opening. As for Robert, he stated he is glad that his wife found him when she did, since he didn't think he could have survived there much longer. I would have to agree with almost all of that.... that had to be a Christmas eve that really stunk, though it didn't end up tragic......... just one more tale to add to the family history perhaps.

Did you know?

Mary, did you know that your baby boy will one day walk on water?


Mary, did you know that your baby boy will save our sons and daughters?


Did you know that your baby boy has come to make you new? This child you've delivered, will soon deliver you?


Mary, did you know that your baby boy will give sight to a blind man?


Mary, did you know your baby boy will calm a storm with his hand?


Did you know, that your baby boy has walked where angels trod? When you kiss your little baby, you've kissed the face of God?


Did you know, that your baby boy is heaven's perfect lamb?



May the star that guided so many on that Christmas eve continue to lead in these days that seem so difficult for many.


Peace on Earth to all........... and to all, the simple, heartfelt joy in giving the best of yourself from within......



Happy Holidays.

Those darn gifts...............

It seems that the holiday season can bring out some of the strangest ideas about gifts. Some I am sure that you have seen and shook your head at, asking yourself, "What were they thinking?"

In Pensecola FL last week, that had to be the question running through a few people's minds when they were confronted by a couple in a local PetSmart praking lot. Robert G Ellingson, 23, approached two people there and offered them a beer, which they refused. He then offered to sell them his baby for $30. The couple first thought that it might just be a prank or joke but the mother of the child chimed in. Maghen Duvala, 25, yelled from across the parking lot that they were indeed trying to sell her baby and at this point, someone came to their senses and called the police.

Authorities state that both of them have been charged with four counts of child neglect and are being held at the Escambia County Jail. They added that the couple had tried an hour earlier to sell their baby in the parking lot of a bank a few blocks away. The Department of Child & Family services has taken custody of the child and the couple is due in court this week. Evidently, when they failed to entice anyone at the bank to buy their baby, they must have thought that someone with a pet, might want a baby as well?

In Rock Springs WY this past week, it again was a present that led to the bit of trouble for a couple. Shawn Johnson,34, called 911 around 1 am Wednesday, to report that his wife had stabbed him. He stated that she and him had started arguing about his opening a present early.

As the argument escalated, Misty Johnson, 34, accused him of having an affair and at some point, she stabbed him in the chest. Shawn was treated at a hospital for a wound to the chest and Misty was arrested on charges of misdemeanor battery and aggravated assualt and battery. Police didn't state who the present Shawn allegedly opened too early was for. It definately seems though, that traditions in the new Johnson family should be strictly observed.

With gift ideas like these though, I believe I may take another look at the "Clapper" and the "Chia Pets" down at the local store.

To heck with sending flowers.....

There still seems to be a few young men who don't believe in the "old fashioned" method of winning a girlfriend back. Unfortunately, they may have plenty of time to discover practical methods of saying their sorry in the near future.



James Walcott, 24, of Columbia CT, evidently felt that flowers and candy wouldn't do the trick for him when his girlfriend broke up with him. For some reason, he felt that breaking into her home, attacking her and her boyfriend and threatening to kill both of them would get her to realize that he needed her back. To top off his "romantic" attempt to win her back, he deliberately crashed his car into the new boyfriend's.



It's not too surprizing that he is now charged with a home invasion, multiple assault charges, the motor vehicle crash and a couple of death threat charges to round out his romantic attempt to win back his "fair maiden." It hadn't been reported if she fell for Walcott's strategy but I am willing to bet that it didn't convince her of anything other than getting as far away from him as she possibly can.



Mark Simmons, 21, of Enfield CT, seems to have taken note of some of Walcott's romance tips this past week. Rather than calmly discuss things or try to win her back with chocolate and flowers, Simmons allegedly threw a chair at her, punched through a mirror and threw shards of glass at her. He evidently felt that those things may not have been enough to convince her, so he threatened to slit her throat and drag her behind his truck.



She decided to leave in the face of what was very misguided "romance" and Simmons followed her in traffic until he could cut her off. He slowed his car to two miles an hour and then left his car to approach hers with clenched fists.



Not too surprizingly, Simmons may be able spend a bit of time trading dating tips in the future with Walcott.................. he now faces multiple felony charges and a protective order has been issued for his former, and I expect.... never to be again, girlfriend. Possibly, the schools may want to slip in a dating ettiquette class amongst all the other "specialty" classes they now offer?

Eye for an eye.....

Many people may have had similar thoughts as to what a 32 year-old Gresham OR driver felt recently. It seems that the driver of a tow truck was a bit upset about a recent ticket he had received and felt that taking matters into his own hands would solve it.

Authorities stated that he hooked his tow truck to a marked police car that was responding to a domestic call and attempted to tow it away. They added that he did finally release the vehicle after another officer ordered him to but he then locked the doors of his truck and refused to cooperate.

He evidently was upset about the response that he had received because the truck driver then proceeded to call the police station from inside his truck. According to the police report, he was unsatisfied with the police response when he tried to tow a marked police cruiser.

The manager of the towing company was eventually brought out to the scene and managed to convince his employee to exit the truck and surrender. That driver is now under arrest on charges of unlawful use of a vehicle, interfering with a peace officer, criminal mischief and obstructing governmental administration.

It would seem that the idea of retribution, possibly formed over coffee and a donut, only led to a few more tickets to add to this drivers collection.

Signs, signs.... everywhere a sign

"Predatory lawyers know they can file ridiculous lawsuits against innocent
product makers and blackmail them into a cash settlement - even in cases in
which a user has ignored common sense," stated Bob Doringo Jones.

Last week the winners of the 11th annual "Wacky Warning Label" contest were announced. The contest is sponsered by the Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch and tries to show the effect that lawsuits have on the warning labels we find on our everyday products.

This year's winning entry, selected from a list of finalists and chosen by the listeners of WOMC-FM's Dick Purtan show, was submitted by Kevin Soave of Farmington Hills MI. He won $500 with his entry of the warning label he found on a small tractor......... it simply stated "Danger: Avoid Death" which i suppose would be common sense but evidently, some need to be reminded of it.

The second prize of $250 went to the entry of Turin's of Greensburg PA for their entry of a warning label they found on an iron-on T-shirt transfer. That simply read... "Do not iron while wearing shirt." Richard Goodnow of Lancaster MA, earned the $100 third prize with his entry. He found the label on a baby stroller that featured a small storage pouch. The pouch had the warning, "Do not put child in bag."

The contest organizers state that their contest shows how broken America's civil justice system is. The honorable mentions in the contest continue to back up that theory as well. Cyndi LaMonde of Traverse City submitted a warning label the accompanied a letter opener that stated : "Caution, safety goggles recommended." Ann Marie Young of Filmore NY, received an honorable mention as well with her entry that stated "The Vanishing Fabric Marker should not be used a signing instrument for checks or legal documents."

It would seem that not only are companies now blackmailed into being overly cautious....... it looks as though simple common sense has gone out the window as well. It is a wonder that we don't have constant signs posted to remind us to blink our eyes and breath.


For more "wacky warnings" , go here.

There was running water....

David Leggat, 55. recently got to put his survival course lessons into practice. His adventure began when he went to use the toilet at the Kittybrewster and Woodside Bowling Club in Aberdeen England. The adventure ended after four long, dark and cold days.

The unmarried bowler knew that he was trapped when the interior handle of the toilets jammed and the outer handle had fallen off. He also knew that he was in for a very long wait, since the club isn't used that much this time of year.

He stated that he hadn't brought anything to eat so he sipped cold water from the sink during the four days. He also remembered a tip from his survival course and said that he kept running a basin of hot water to soak his feet in. That wat he could heat his whole body during the long cold hours.

Cathy Scollay, the cleaner, heard his cries for help and contacted the club secretary, Bob Ewing, who came and set Leggat free with some quick screwdriver work. Leggat stated that he was fortunate to have a toilet there but he would have prefered being locked behind the bar for an ordeal like that.

The article didn't state what prompted Leggat to use the toilet there but it could be a fair punishment for letting the door shut on him, when he could see the outer handle was missing.