"When I got up, I realized, my God, I don't have any pants," stated Mark Stahnke.
He remembered going to the bank on Saturday, in Waukesha WI, to get some money he was going to lend to his son and while he was there, he cashed his paycheck. Sunday night, August 26 2007, he met his son in a bar and he has no idea how he ended up in a patio chair of a neighbor he didn't even know, Monday morning.
Mark Stahnke still doesn't know what happened that left him in the neighbor's backyard but he does know that when he woke up, there was a definate reason as to why he was feeling a little chilled. When he stood up, he realized that he still had his shoes and socks on but his pants were nowhere to be found. Figuring that he might get caught for indecent exposure or possibly even recognised, he pulled his shirt down over his briefs and sneaked his way home.
After getting home, ticket free and getting dressed, he did as any "good" man will do... he asked his wife what had happened. She, like most women who may actually know what happens when the boys go out, intelligently answered........ I don't know. Stahnke wasn't that concerned about the lost pants, his concern was what had been in the pockets of them.
At approximately 7 am Monday morning he made his way to the police and reported his pants, along with the cashier's check for $41,093 he had intended to give his son and the couple of hundred dollars he had from his pay check missing. The police were skeptical, figuring that because he had been that drunk, the values would be at least, a bit off.
"How do you get so intoxicated that you lose your pants," asked Waukesha Police Lt William Graham.
Meanwhile, back around the area that Stahnke had taken his blacked-out nap, Tim Curzan was walking his dogs. He hadn't taken his usual route that Monday evening and during his walk, his dog Joe found a pair of pants. While his dog was sniffing them, he heard them jingle so he investigated the abandoned pants. Curzan found a pocketful of change and soaked pile of papers.
It wasn't until the paper had dried out that he found the cashier's check and pile of cash. He stated that he had made two attempts to deliver the check to the address he believed it was intended for. By Wednesday, the pants were still lying there, unclaimed, so Curzan took them and the contents to the police station.
Stahnke and his belongings were reunited on Friday, August 31, before he headed to work and Curzan claims, he never had thought of cashing the cashier's check, something Stahnke had learned the bank couldn't prevent. Evidently, both men are happy with the outcome of the "wandering pants" mystery.
As for police LT Graham..... evidently he is an amatuer when it comes to drunks and missing items. He pondered how someone could get that intoxicated as to lose their pants. I know that people have gotten drunk enough to lose a girlfriend, a wife, a car, wallets and at times, their now naked drinking buddy as he dances off into the woods believing that he is, in fact.... a wood nymph.
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